Belmont 2008
Ambassador For The Adjective
the incomparable broadcaster and media commentator, mike carlton, always writes a controversial and succinct column in the sydney morning herald every saturday, and i’ve long been a great admirer of his style and wit his sheet always being the earliest i sprain to at the weekend.one of his most recent comments was about the australian broadcasting corporation, affectionately known in this boonies as aunty’, and he was bemoaning the fact that boring full of years cliches and mouldy language are increasingly being used by the abc these days, when it was once famous for its much more imaginative style.the abc’s reputation in those days was, of order, a product of the time when journalists were taught the importance of grammar and the beauty of the english idiom, and writers in those days actually got pleasure to of constructing zingy’ phrases and catchy headlines, but all that creativity seems to have disappeared into antiquity, with the older school’ (of which mike carlton was a student) being the contrariwise ones who seem to punctiliousness.the piece i refer to from the smh is this ditty:
SYDNEY MORNING HERALD 17th May 2008
I’m in full agreement with Mike Carlton on this. My formative years were spent in an English Grammar School and I remember that something akin to a horse-whipping would await any spotty fourth-former who dared to end a sentence with a preposition or who used any form of Americanism in either thought or deed.
And so it gives me indigestion and often brings me to apoplexy to see the misuse of the English language, having suffered the demands and threats of Mr Abbott (my English teacher) for a number of years and this misuse is undoubtedly contributing to the sad decline in social standards throughout this country. And PLEASE don’t tell me I started this paragraph with a conjunction Mr Abbott is long dead, so retribution is doubtful.
One thing I remember very well about Mr Abbott was that he never used a few simple words when an entire glossary could be used instead. I was pulled up by him for talking in class once, but instead of just reprimanding me he made me stand on a chair and recite for the rest of the class, no fewer than twenty times: “My natural verbosity is in direct antithesis to my academic career”. It took me a week to work out what I’d been forced to say, but nowadays it brings back fond memories.
Just taking a quick look around my own city of Newcastle in recent times (as I’ve driven my bus around the place) gives an idea of how we’re heading towards the fiery furnace of etymological hell, and with a local government who must be patently illiterate for allowing such things, what chance have we got?
At Westfield Kotara Shopping Centre, there’s an enormous sign which says: “ALTERNATE PARKING IN PRINCETON AVENUE”. A gross Americanism that should be graffitied over (whenever I get the chance) because, in effect, it means that on one day you can park at Westfield Kotara, but on the next day you must park in Princeton Avenue. Then, on the third day you can again park at Westfield Kotara, but on the fourth day you’re back in Princeton Avenue and so on.
All over the place there are “SPECIALTY SHOPS” a foul insult to the magnificent English word “SPECIALITY” and such an abomination should stay where it belongs in America. At the John Hunter Hospital, their sign says “IN THE INTEREST OF HEALTH, SMOKING IS PROHIBITED ON HOSPITAL GROUNDS”. Yes, well, if you go to the John Hunter you ARE interested in health (obviously) but “IN THE INTERESTS OF HEALTH” (with an “S” on the end) would be the correct terminology. I hope the person who wrote it isn’t the same one who might one day be searching for my prostate.
Other signs that sent me home on sick leave were: “VISITORS PARKING” at Spinnakers Leisure Park (where’s the apostrophe for heaven’s sake?), at Wallsend Plaza: “CARPARK ENTRY” (they’ve added a new word to the language CARPARK) and on the menu at Belmont Hotel “ONOIN RINGS” and all of those things were spotted on a single day!
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